After the divorce is final, we often field calls from clients with various questions about their post-divorce relationships with their exes. From dealing with special possession issues to disagreements on decision making, it is common to reach back out to your divorce lawyer from time to time for input or advice even after the dust settles.
While most divorcing parents understand that the best practice for their children is to share significant information about the child with their co-parent—and your decree, in fact, probably requires this—a common question we hear in the years following a divorce concerns how open exes have to be with each other about their own significant life events. For example, “do I have to tell my ex that…
- I’m buying a new house?
- I have a new job?
- I’m moving in with my girlfriend or boyfriend?
- I’m getting remarried?
- I was fired?
- I’m hiring a new caretaker for the children?
- I got a raise?”
While the answers to these questions are all likely found within the many, many pages of your Final Decree of Divorce, it may be quicker and easier to just ask your attorney for guidance in these and other scenarios.
The experienced attorneys at Brousseau Naftis & Massingill, P.C. have represented clients in family law matters for decades. For more information, contact us today for a no-obligation consultation.
Generally, most decrees require that you share the following information with your ex:
Moving
If you are moving to a new residence, you must give your ex (as well as the Court and the State Case Registry) 60 days advance written notice of the move. If you cannot provide notice 60 days in advance, you must send notice as soon as you are aware that you are moving.
Employment Change
If you are changing your employer, work address or work telephone number (which includes a change of job, a new job or loss of job), you must also give your ex written notice 60 days in advance. Again, if you cannot give your ex 60 days’ notice, then you have to give them notice as soon as you become aware of the change.
Moving In with Partner or Remarriage
Unless your decree has specific language addressing this scenario, in most cases you are only required to give notice to your ex if you are going to live with or marry someone who is a registered sex offender or the subject of a protective order.
If your future roommate or spouse is a sex offender, you must give your ex notice as soon as practicable, but not later than the 40th day after you begin living with the sex offender or the 10th day after you marry the sex offender. If you are moving in with someone who is the subject of a protective order sought by a third party, you must give notice as soon as practicable, but no later than the 30th day after you begin residing with this person. To live with or marry someone who is the subject of a protective order that you requested, you must give notice as soon as practicable or not later than the 90th day after the final protective order is issued.
Hiring a New Caretaker for the Children
Unless your decree has its own specific requirements regarding caretakers, you are not required to notify your ex if you hire a new caretaker unless the caretaker is the subject of a protective order. In that case, you would follow the notice deadline above.
Salary or Bonus Information
Again, unless your decree has specific information regarding a potential change in income, you are not required by most decrees to provide notice to your ex if you receive a raise or a bonus that increases your income. If, however, you have a significant decrease in income and you are ordered to pay child support, you may consider filing a motion to modify your child support obligation if this occurs. Otherwise, no notice to your ex is required.
Does It Impact the Child?
Overall, while it is important to understand what information must be reported to your ex-spouse according to your decree and to follow those guidelines, when considering whether to share with your ex significant information about your own life, take the time to think about whether it impacts the child. If it does, you should probably make your co-parent aware of it regardless of whether it is required. This may help in any transition your child will face because of the change.
Also, think about whether you would want this information if the shoe was on the other foot, and if so, let that guide you toward making that phone call or sending that text message. However, if you are still in doubt about whether to share news with your co-parent, reach out to your attorney and let them advise you on the best way to handle the situation, especially if the significant event is sensitive in nature.
